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Thursday, Oct. 24, 2002 - 3:40 p.m.

I'm going to a Bar Mitzvah on Saturday. The eldest child of my boss is becoming a man. I went to the Wallgreens down the street to get him a card. There wasn't much of a selection, only one of those cards designed specifically for holding cash, and the one that I bought. It reads:

With Torah in hand,

You approached the bench,

And before we knew it...

You became a Mensch!

On the back, in small print, it says, "Translation of Mensch: an upright, honorable, decent person." Thank you, Hallmark, for schoolin' us goyem. And all this time, I thought "mensch" was Yiddish for "motherfucker".


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